good chat

i FINALLY got to talk to amiga today. and her sister. it was so good to hear their voices.

its been months. when i first moved out here, amiga was on my regular phone buddy list. when she changed jobs, that changed, and she fell off the radar.

turns out, she fell off for good reason. i found via e-mail after her birthday (JUNE 7TH!) how bad things had been for her. but we weren't able to have a good discussion about it until today.

its such a relief. her life seems to be back on track, and she sound happy and enjoying life. the best part of talking to her -- she hasn't changed. same girl. still sweet, still funny. she hasn't let the struggles of the past few months make her bitter or jaded. that's my little amiga.

im proud of her and the decisions that she has made to take control of her own life. its a hard thing to to, that pesky growing up thing. but we all have to do it sometime. and she seems to be coming throught with flying colors.

now, i just need to see her when i'm home in december. preferably at IBERRICO!!!!

S-M-R-T

today on the phone with gc, he asked what i thought the debate tonight was going to be about.

my answer: politics

sometimes i am just fucking brilliant.

too soon

cubs magical ride ends too soon. way to state the obvious.

the article has a link to video highlights from the season. but the link for reed johnson's amazing catch vs the nationals (the infamous flipped bill one) wasnt working, which meant i had to search for it on mlb.com.

so i found it, and a whole bunch of others of him, mostly highlight-reel catches and getting timely RBIs. i watched a couple, and then had to turn it off.

its too soon. im not ready to watch amazing games from the season while the wound of the sweep is still open and festering.

fuck. this sucks.

empty

its not about the cubs. really its not.

they lost. im getting over it. they play like chumps when crunch time comes. ive come to accept it. i really dont care that much. even though i discovered it later in life, i love baseball, and always will. i love the cubs too, but ive always been realistic about them, and their inability to close the deal.

the emptiness i feel is more about the season in general.

i felt at peace skipping from game to game. checking in on old favorite players, keeping tabs on the pennant races in every division.

and in postseason, with no one to root for, i can barely be bothered to turn on mlb gameday, much less make plans to mooch off someone else's cable tv to catch nationally televised games. as much as i hate to admit it, with the playing field narrowed, the only team i only even marginally want to win is the dodgers, so that maddux can maybe end his career with another ring. too bad that would come with another ring for manny the douchebag as well.

watching baseball, all 162 games per team per year is what i really enjoy. no, i dont watch every team's every game. there arent enough hours in the day for that. but its comforting to know all the games were out there, just waiting for me to turn them on.

and through this season, there's even more more to love. im not talking about individual players accomplishments, like thome's 500th HR or el loco toro's no hitter.

im talking about the consistency in baseball. every day for the months of april, may, june, july, august, and september there is baseball played, and every game is important. every game is special. every game is beautiful or ugly in its own way.

a starting pitcher who gets worked over in one game will come back will find his stuff and be unhittable in his next. hitters streak hot and cold, with no apparent reason. a team slumps, then comes back and makes their fans remember why they still watch.

i have my favorites, of course. ive never rooted for any of his teams, but to watch kyle loshe get bounced around from team to team, and finally settle in with st louis, BEFORE the post season is over for 4 years is a reason i love this game. big frank thomas, who left a bad situation in chicago to go to oakland and then into an even worse situation with toronto before coming back to the As and their fans, who love him is another example. and even though he couldnt find the strike zone with a GPS in game one of the NLDS, ryan dempster's transition from a closer who could only pitch an inning at a time, to a starter who never seemed to need extra rest was awesome.

there's going to be a lot of drama this off season. not just with the cubs, who have disappointed their fan base, again, and will need to fight to win back their loyalty. not just with the white sox who seemed to fall apart close to the end of the season but still made a great run to get to the playoffs and won an infinitely highter number of games than the cubs in the post season. however, they start the off season with a lot of open postitions to fill and decisions to make.

i'm excited to see what will happen when players file for free agency, who stays and who goes, and where they go. the playing field is leveled back to zero when the world series is over.

but there isn't trade/signing news every day. and definitely not the same volume as when games are being played during the season.

cuz once asked me when i get over my post-basball season funk. the answer is easy -- february.

the void that the off season brings can only be filled by one thing -- the start of spring training in february. and it seems so far away right now.

the season's not even over, but i miss it already.

pain, continued

i have a hangover. my head hurts. a nice physical manifestation of the pain of the cubs getting swept.

i feel stupid for having been optimistic this whole season.

winning the division looked like barely a struggle for the team. scoring a run was beyond difficult once oct 1 hit.

i dont get it. was it the pressure, the expectation of 100 years? it didnt seem to bother the guys all year. i spent enough time this week yelling at the team for playing poorly. there is no point in reaming them after the fact.

there is not going to be a logical explanation for their collapse. larry hagman asked me this morning, "why don't you just find a new team?"

if only it was that easy.